“Hertfordshire Thief Strikes Again!”

 

Zurrina Purrina yawned lazily as she read this week’s headline in the Hertfordshire Mercury. In the kitchen, her two slaves were preparing her breakfast and making themselves some tea when the commoners, 2 smelly corgis, that she was forced to share her palace with, came bounding in from outside, their nails tapping and clattering on the laminate floor. She narrowed her yellow-green eyes at them and stared them both down, flicking her unblinking gaze from one to the other until they cowered beneath the dining room table. “S-s-sorry for the noise so early” they stammered. She glared at them a beat longer and then let them off – she had more important things to do this morning than remind them who ruled this kingdom.

 

She continued to read as she delicately licked her paw. “The spate of burglaries has increased with many of the victims perplexed as to how the thief continues to evade detection or capture despite Hertford Constabulary increasing its presence in the area.” She smiled and stretched. She was about to continue reading when Brigadier Jack Daw tapped on the window with his beak.

 

She glanced up. He blinked out the coded morning report in short bursts just as the youngest of the slaves -in -training, also known as Vivienne,  entered the room. “That bird is teasing Zuri, again” the slave said. Zurrina stopped her paw wash and glared at the slave, her tail flicking in annoyance. Were these slaves really that feeble-minded that they could actually think she, Zurrina Purrina, direct descendant of an Ancient Egyptian Deity, the goddess Bastet, would allow herself to be teased by a mere bird? She hissed at Vivienne and turned her attention back on the Brigadier. A gold locket, a small diamond brooch and a gold earring were being presented later this morning and the Brigadier would personally see to their safe delivery in the red nesting box warehouse on the western wall of the garden. Zurrina gave an affirmative nod, and the Brigadier flew off, his Clattering of Jackdaws would be safe from recrimination for another fortnight. She decided she may add an extra week of protection on if the diamond was of a high clarity and a big enough size. After all she mused, it didn’t hurt to be unpredictable and keep those silly birds on their toes.

 

 

Turning her attention back to the newspaper Zurrina continued to read. “And yesterday an old family ring was taken from the home of Sir Cameron Mackintosh, but police think they may have a lead…” Zurrina smirked.  A ring was indeed missing. A gold signet pinkie ring, bearing the family coat of arms, that was currently taking pride of place in Green Birdbox Warehouse above Zurrina’s favourite afternoon napping chair in the garden. She was about to continue reading when an image stopped her in her tracks. There, in the paper, was a blurry picture of her. What was clear though was her favourite reflective collar with the pink diamond studded heart pendant. The one she was wearing at this very moment. This would not do. If the slaves saw this, they may be tempted to do something foolish and rash and they were on their way from the kitchen…

 

Zurrina looked at the newspaper and the vase of white roses on the table. With a deliberate kick -but careful not to get her feet wet - she knocked the vase over and sauntered out of the room. 

 

Time to go and see if all the other subjects in the kingdom w